Transactional

Now I play life as any clever girl would.

I am idle yet astute

My eyes are closed; my heart is unplugged

I have been known

To levitate at will

And grin

And give as much as I can stand

My kindness is a gift

After all, I am not transactional

I am free because I expect nothing

I don’t wait to heal myself or clear my spirit

Only clever girls know this; the old tired game never starts if we don’t play.

Expectations.

Dreams.

And hope.

We’re too smart for the sticky sweet trifecta

Yet I have always wished I could collect you somehow

Not to trap you, but so we could be known to each other

Because you have always brought me a sort of peace

That I have yet to create on my own terms

So if there was enough left of you somewhere

And you offered it up

I’d suppose I’d be willing to consider us a different sort of gift

That brought a new kind of freedom

Just this once