Thoughts on being seen.

Does anyone else have a person (or people) that you DESPERATELY want to “see” you? It doesn’t have to be in a romantic way. I just want them to absorb me. I want their approval of my words or personality. And I don’t always get it. The less I get of it, the more I crave it.

I’m not one of those people who needs UNIVERSAL approval. I’d rather be hated than dismissed. I don’t want to be boring.

There’s a few people I’m hung up on and I don’t even understand why. I think to myself “Why does their attention (or lack of attention) even matter? Why do I care about this?” And I’m not sure.

Every person I’ve fallen into this trap with has had this in common: I admire them, or I see something in them that I don’t see in myself.

The only other scenario to which this applies is... the people who picked me, and then lost their taste for me. So I guess that’s the answer.

But there’s no point in dancing for people who aren’t watching. It’s energy better spent trying to accept and care for myself.