Near (and assorted) death experiences.

I do a lot of reading about near death experiences.

I haven’t had one. (Luckily?!)

I’ve been in two worlds, though.

The first world is made of interest and engagement. The first world will hurt me, but I have choices in it. I can think. And when I do, I can conceptualize some kind of future where joy is possible. I am here now.

But there’s another world where everyone is dead. There’s no heaven or hell. Not even grief or sadness. Those things resolve. This NEVER resolves. I never land. And it erases my ability to think or engage with ANYTHING.

Actually... I take that back. It’s not even world because there’s nothing there. It’s death. Mental death.

I’d go as far as to say that I’ve actually died in my lifetime, and have been resurrected over and over again.

I’m not grateful for my life all the time. But I am today.

Wow, this is all so angsty. But... accurate.