Dresses and the nonsense of dreamy hockey boys

There I was, in a casual dining setting several days ago. We were all eating, our food was mostly finished. Conversation had tapered down. I searched for a casual table safe topic that wasn’t sports or cars or books (I’m not capable of coherent commentary for the first two, and I want to be seen as at least a little diverse so I stayed away from literature.)

 I gestured towards the woman next to me. I suddenly noticed my elbows on table (whoops, sorry Grandma, I know that’s bad manners, but my elbows love a cold table.) I gave myself a little mental pinch to stop and removed my elbows.

I grinned as I said:

“We’ve got a mother to honor at the table today, don’t we? Happy early Mother’s Day, _________!”

Man at table: “I thought you were about to say you had an announcement for us, Caitlin!”

Me: ***Doesnt have to comically exaggerate much to simulate gagging***

**Later clarifies that I’m gagging because I don’t want to ever be pregnant, not BECAUSE I am pregnant and have morning sickness**

And that was how I remembered Mother’s Day was actually…. This weekend. How it got pulled to the front of my memory.

But I digress.

I got my mom The Fault in Our Stars (the book!) for Mother’s Day. She loves the movie. I know this will go over well if she has time to read it. I have no stomach for cheesy romance. There was something surprisingly more raw at play in that book. It’s about death and life as much as it is about love, so I guess why that’s why I can stomach it (hah.)

I have no time books that read like:

“I’m a cute girl and met a cute boy! He plays hockey professionally! I met him because I was pretending to be a freelance sports reporter so i could follow cute boys around!”

I can’t even read raunchy books like that and laugh at them.

It’s just so stupid.

I actually love some stupid things, but the thought of anyone touching me makes me sick.

Today bought 3 dresses I didn’t really need at Ross. They were cheap and cute and made me feel “Womanly” with a capital - W. One is far too busty for work. Another one is very pretty but looks like something that should be worn at prom. Or maybe the Kentucky Derby. The last dress I can get away wearing to brunches or churches and such.

As if I even enjoyed that sort of thing.

(Brunches).

Working from home has been “fine” (lower case f.) Work is by no means my social outlet. And I love my 2 kitty girls. But it’s…. God, it’s quiet. And the ice at my house is comparatively sub par. It is just a lot of Caitlin in the house. ONLY Caitlin and some stray meows. I need more color to my day to break up my ruthless internal monologue.

So yeah. “Hybrid” life for me it will be.

Can’t believe I’m starting school in 2 weeks. That will be something. Yes, it will.

Started a new diary tonight. It’s a whole fucking mood.