Because yes it is.

“Is this it?”

- A disillusioned golfer who was quoted during the sermon in the Christmas Eve service I attended after he won the Masters twice.

Anyone else ever felt that way after the initial rush of winning a trophy or walking across a stage and being handed a sacred paper wears off?

The sad, scary truth is that no matter what external achievement we check off our list, the world will not change for us.

And we still have to live as ourselves.

I achieved a dream I’ve held almost my entire life this year. (I know I won’t shut up about this but I’m only bringing this up to make a specific point.) In total, it took 3 1/2 months - from pressing “submit” to “sitting on the magazine rack at Barnes and Noble.” For some people, that can take years. I got lucky. And have some talent, which is another lucky thing. A lot of my imposter syndrome dissipated.

Yet it’s isolating. Something about all of this is and always has been. Whatever I do have hasn’t made me happier, it’s just something I have to do. I spend all so much of my life in this because there are secretly some everyday things that are completely lost on me.

I guess the whole point of this is - I have decided it is better to lean into love and community than have my eyes purely fixed on the stars.

I don’t think I’m wrong.