Angry is not sad’s bodyguard.

Mehhhh it’s more complicated than that.

I have truly hated, well... probably just one person. I’ve been repulsed by a handful more.

This feeling was complex, valid, and brought on by abuse. This was not some sort of “I acted selfish and stepped Caitlin’s feelings” type situation. That’s something I can move past.

As for forgiveness? I offer none of myself. Certainly nothing soft. I have nothing but emptiness for him. 💀

There have been people in my life who directly intended to destroy and violate me (and others) because they “got off” on it, not because I hurt them first.

I’m not perfect. I’ll have to answer to God for some of my behavior, but since I have never done anything like that to ANYONE... I think that my goodness is my antidote and my power.

Unpopular opinion: I don’t pity people who pull manipulative shit like that. That’s not masking weakness or some sort of insecurity, that’s evil shit for God to sort of.

I can let go of those situations and choose to free myself, but my feelings towards those people will never change. Not that anyone should obsess over those feelings or those people, because we’re better than them.

I’m not a “forgiver.” I’m forever on team “take the lesson, be empowered knowing they didn’t destroy you, and let go of the situation.”