All over again.

Angels are everywhere.

I had a gut-wrenching and visit with my dad Sunday. I can’t write it.

I was a blubbering, maskless mess in the parking lot leaving and this amazing woman approached me and we said a prayer.

It brings tears to my eyes just thinking of how kind that woman was. It was, as they say, “a God thing.“

I’ve been enveloped in so much kindness lately. Or love. They are sisters. These people include: My aunt and family in general. Strangers on the internet. Close friends and a wide net of acquaintance. I have never been more convinced of God’s love for me. God has been working through them to show me that I am valued and supported.

The best and worst of life all wrapped into one year. One multilayered season. Funny how that works.

I am not going to be the same when this calms down. I already feel it. It’s here. It’s growing.

I’ve been blasting Michelle Branch’s “Goodbye to You” for the past couple of days. “Goodbye to you, goodbye to everything I thought I knew... feels like I’m starting all over again.“

I‘ve always assumed it was supposed to be about expired love, but it speaks to the end of eras in general. It’s not a bad thing. Sometimes good things sting a little. The “Good things” being the support that has emerged from this medical nightmare.

I’m not focusing on the positive, just to be clear. That’s toxic advice. I’m taking the bad, putting it in perspective, and trying to put the life puzzle God made me together. A puzzle box with no picture. I know a few things, but not what the finished product will look like. Big and little surprised. Random things that are still planned.

Blessed beyond belief and lucky to be me. Glad I’ve waited and stuck all this out. I’m not flawless, but I’m whole.

Bedtime now.